my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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