my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
operation harelip BJ is a go
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Randomize
