Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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