So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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