The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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