Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
