I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
