Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
