I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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