just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
