I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
so much tequila, so little girl.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
