he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize