So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
