we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
