singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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