i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize