I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
we should paint friendship bongs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
