all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
