I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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