My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
