Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize