It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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