Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I skipped work to stalk him.
Fuck appropriateness.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
