I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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