it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
