I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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