...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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