you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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