Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
