well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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