i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
