I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
