Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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