He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
