he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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