Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Randomize
