a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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