***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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