the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
