He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
