Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
