imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
