I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
