there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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