is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
