the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want nice things and good sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
