I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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