My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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