My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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