Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
