i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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