your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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