It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize