woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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