It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
