I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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