i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
