I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize